Madre

You see me with a smile

On my face,

Shining bright as day,

While you compelled me

in your cruel judgements as if that would

make me stay coherent to all the bullshit

You say with that malicious intent.

To ruin my soul as if that’s all

You need to get into heavens gate.

You see me and see a person just

living,

although my anxiety,

a storm of pressure rushing through me

mysteriously is

Killing me, and alcohol can’t fill up my dignity

Nor voice to hush the humility

and sometimes I just seek tranquility.

But I don’t let you see this,

because often you know it,

Disregard it like I’m nonexistent.

Mislead the information run with it,

Win a medal for it,

and yet you still breathing.

Fixing your mouth to put me down,

Stigmatized me until I broke down.

I simply lost air suffocating and pleading

You to stop and forgive me.

I’m trapped in a box unforgiven.

Call me jack in the box.

You tick tock but It never pops.

Suffocated slowly, yet rapidly non stop.

Downed 5 bottles, 6 to fill the void,

I cried, and prayed for constant love

Unforgettable is my stone,

Read it carefully,

That’s my suicide note.

03.24.23